View Full Version : Bit of advice?
Had a funny one today, will cut a long story short. Neighbours and I share a drive that goes front to back. We both have right of way. A few years ago he tarmacced over the concrete drive on HIS "half" and we sort of fell out. Every now and then I move one of my cars down the drive towards the back so I can swap overvthe cars we have. Today I came home and did just that. Neighbours mum who lives at the house came home from a long holiday and her son, the one we have trouble with, came banging on the door. Basically he threatened me, said the land was his and I didn't ask to park the car there and he said don't park there any more. He got very intense because I started to explain that I meant no harm and thought it was ok as it was temporary. He then threatened me, and said if I did it again, he would pull it off the drive himself. At thus point I said don't threaten me, he said I am threatening you, and I said don't, and don't you touch my car, he then continued with his threat and said he would pull it off the drive. I told him to speak to his solicitor to get things clear because perhaps I have mis understood the agreement for the drive. I understand that yes, the land is probably his and I have right of way, but at the front, half is mine if that is how he wants to be.
My issue is, the threats. I don't mind being asked nit to use it as a parking spot, which I don't, but I need advice on the threat. Is there anything I can do at all? He's made myself and my girlfriend a but scared, and put us on edge, now I am worried that the next time I use the drive for access, and leave the car for a short time, he's going to damage it. Should I seek legal advice, report to police or leave it alone? Problem is we are now on edge over it, and very upset...
Deleted account DD
11-06-2010, 21:07
Police will advise or deal on public order/criminal/violence/threats etc.
Seek advice from a solicitor re access, its a civil matter :thumb2
Dont get upset over him. Dick heads like that are ten a penny and they always get their come uppance eventually
(RIP) PLANK
11-06-2010, 21:13
Living in fear is one of the worst thing people have to endure.
Try to let it go, he has probably calmed down now and feels a bit stupid but isn't brave enough to admit it.
Probably had a bad day and taking it out on you.
Not much help but i do try :)
if you own the house look at the deeds and plans
other than that tell him B@LL@X as he has no right to threaten you and advise him that if he does it again you will report it to the police.
Avoid solicitors if possible they look at this kind of dispute as a licence to print money
PS if the front half is yours he is also screwed so it may also be wise to get a written agreement between the both of you.
paulp
do you have legal cover with your insurance or breakdown provider? if you do contact them for free advice and possibly a letter to put the fear of christ up him over the threats, if you dont have cover phone the RAC and take it out it costs around £25.00 and covers all legal matters, and not just motoring,. :thumb2
report it to the police then you have a record of the incident if anything does happen or you can do b.
knock the **** out and stamp onhis nuts.
larson
BigBlack
11-06-2010, 22:24
You need to look on your deeds and see if it is a right of way, or a shared drive. Basically neither of you have any right to park on it if its classed as a right of way, or access to the rear... that said though theirs no need for this t**ser to come giving it large - aint he ever parked on it for a while?
If its a shared drive its just that 'shared' so their aint no 'his side' or your side!
Does the lad live in the house? I'd be interested in what he's gonna use to 'pull' your car of the drive. Pretty sure thats criminal damage!?!?
This site might be a good read for you.... Garden Law Forum (http://www.gardenlaw.co.uk/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=8&sid=f5f8ff32ebcf6d2a351e06eb74e06f58) lots of solicitors / conveyours etc on it and its free! :thumb2
Failing that you aint too far from me.... want me to come park a 6 ton tractor on your drive and tell the c*nt to move that! :naughty
bigblack you have a tractor? do you have any rabbits and can i have them?
sorry to take the thred of track but i cant resist a bunny
larson
BigBlack
11-06-2010, 22:36
Strictly speaking I personally dont... but father-in-law has a couple.... :cool:
Bunnys??? You wanting live ones or dead? :augie
Just a second thought on this.... football tomorrow... maybe buy him a 4 pack of beer, go knock on the door, appologies for parking their and say you didnt think he would of minded as it was only for a short while... get onto talking about the footy and give him the beers as a peice offering..... :nenau
(RIP) PLANK
11-06-2010, 22:52
Just a second thought on this.... football tomorrow... maybe buy him a 4 pack of beer, go knock on the door, appologies for parking their and say you didnt think he would of minded as it was only for a short while... get onto talking about the footy and give him the beers as a peice offering..... :nenau
got to be worth a try, save a whole load of stress!
Thanks for all the replys guys, I certainly won't be taking any beers down his house because he's a twat and I really don't like him. I'm going to seal advice on Sunday firstly via that website big black posted. I need some facts based on the deeds I have, I need to know if it's his half I have access over, or is it just shared. Once I have facts, I'm going to speak to a solicitor or the police about the threats, and get the details of the deads made clear to him, and a warning given to stay the hell away from me. I hate bullies like him, I'm only a skinny guy, I can't possibly defend myself against him but he's made me feel physically threatened.
extreme-4x4
11-06-2010, 23:42
tricky one.... had similar myself.
fact is you are where you are. whats done is done. and coppers wont do bugger all. even if they turn up... so with all said and done
the best option you have is next time you see him is to say
" have you calmed down yet"
in a very dry jack dee type of styleeeee
this will show the bully.
you are not scared
he's been an arse
and you want to talk about your issues rationally.
making the first move giving him the option to respond nicely rather than more conflict...
could save you years of hell living with neighbours from hell . avoid solicitors
but he could go in reach for his big gun collection and start shooting the town up. and the police will get involved. eventually. if he kills enough people... only joking on this bit
macabethiel
12-06-2010, 07:58
You have had a lot of sound advice and as a retired Custody Sergeant with personal experience of problems with my neighbour on one side I will post my thoughts.
Firstly, if he moves your vehicle that is classed as an unauthorised taking of the vehicle he does not have to drive it or sit in the vehicle to commit the offence. Pushing or towing can amount to unuathorised taking under the Theft Act contrary to common belief he does not need to drive it as such. He would have a defence in law if he claimed the vehicle was on his land even if the land turned out not to be his as long as his belief was "honestly held" as the law calls it.
If he moved your vehicle then you must call the Police and get them to deal with your complaint. In all honesty they would probably try to resolve the situation without court action as long as you agreed.
Trouble is once the Police get involved be it due to a breach of the peace or harrassment then things tend to get worse. If you are a sensitive person then moving house seems like the only solution.
I had a period of two years where my neighbour and his wife would not speak to me after I built my double garage and he refused to give me right of access during the building work. It was really uncomfortable to ignore someone if we both happened to be on the front garden together. We are now on head nodding terms only !
If the house was built with shared drive access then the Land Registry Entry or the Deeds if it is an older house should clarify the situation. You can usually get a copy of the document from the Mortgage Company for a small fee. If the shared drive has been done after the house was built without a legal agreement but by way of common useage then it maybe more complicated. Either way if you have a right and he is denying it you that does not help much.
I would try to avoid letters from solicitors even if you can afford it as this tends to entrench the situation and if he is an unreasonable person or a bully it gives him a sort of defiant control of the situation.
If he does not live at the house then at the earliest opportunity I would try to speak to whoever lives at the house so they know what has happened and put my views calmly and fairly. I wrote to my neighbour as the first step as this has the advantage that you can get your point across without raised voices or interuption and you can re-read a letter but peoples memory of a conversation can become less than acurate.
Hope this helps.
Tell him to take a chill pill, wether you were parked there rightly or wrongly he has no right to threaten you.
Report the matter to the police and get it on record also let them know that you are living in fear of both damage to property and personally, they will hopefully send a community officer to speak to him and he will then be aware that you are not going to put up with his threats.
It wont make for a pleasant atmosphere in which to live but it may make him think twice about further threats.
going to report to police, if only to get advice on what he can or cant do. going to check deeds to make sure the "divide" he has created using tarmac (half tarmacced the drive) is correct and precise. Need to find out if him doing this breaks the agreement of shared access. Hes adament its his land, which is fine if its true, but he never went through anything with us when dividing it up, he just did it even though we said dont. He was threatening, he even said "i will threaten you" and its that, that has scared me. I dont like to be threatened because I didnt deserve it. see what the police say. I did make sure I told him "do not touch my car" and told him to go to his solicitor about the matter (he claimed his maybe is a solicitor and hes told him all he needs to know, wonder if that included a few threats?).
Im not going to let the matter rest, but all I am going to do is check the land deeds and the tarmac issue and if he is allowed to threaten me and what he can do if I do park my car there etc etc, need to be clear about things so I can be happy.
extreme-4x4
13-06-2010, 08:22
going to report to police, if only to get advice on what he can or cant do. going to check deeds to make sure the "divide" he has created using tarmac (half tarmacced the drive) is correct and precise. Need to find out if him doing this breaks the agreement of shared access. Hes adament its his land, which is fine if its true, but he never went through anything with us when dividing it up, he just did it even though we said dont. He was threatening, he even said "i will threaten you" and its that, that has scared me. I dont like to be threatened because I didnt deserve it. see what the police say. I did make sure I told him "do not touch my car" and told him to go to his solicitor about the matter (he claimed his maybe is a solicitor and hes told him all he needs to know, wonder if that included a few threats?).
Im not going to let the matter rest, but all I am going to do is check the land deeds and the tarmac issue and if he is allowed to threaten me and what he can do if I do park my car there etc etc, need to be clear about things so I can be happy.
up to you buddy BUT to the coppers its your word against his. he could be the biggest arsehole in the world , but they can or will do nothing unless you have witness's.
i have found most even admit they got all shitty . when the coppers visit them with your complaint. but they still wont do any more than talk to them , which wont help " well unless he is a decent chap" but we know he isn't or we wouldnt be chatting about the events here.
my only advise is your the one who has to live there, and your next move is going to change the way you live in your home and possibly surrounding area ... potentially for a very long time ...
honestly try the " have you calmed down" bit first.
you have nothing to loose. if he kicks off again then call the police .... but i fully expect he has calmed down now or just not had a crap day yet
solarman216
13-06-2010, 08:33
Some years ago I was involved with a selfbuild group and because of cock ups by the agents in setting out we ended up with a couple of "shared accesses" now although the dividing line was down the middle the owner of that half could not place a bin for instance on his half as it would mean obstucting access for the other person, it all sounds reasonable for reasonable people, but when you get one, like you have, that wants to be difficult, then it can cause so many problems it is untrue, you could end up spending loads of money in court trying to get injunctions etc to stop him doing what we all know he should not be doing, saying it/proving it is one thing, actually getting him to stop is quite another, this is why every legal guy will tel you to sort it out amicably if you can, and the Police will not want to know, unless he goes too far and breaches the peace, and even then they will only deal with the breach of the peace, not with any other issue, and he is NOT ALLOWED to threaten you if he continues to do so he can be arrested, I know this because I had an intruder on my property some months ago and I told him to leave, I have a large yard, and while following him to the gate I noticed a large lever bar laying on the ground, and nowing I would forget it on the way back I picked it up, said guy left, and ten mins later the law was at my gate, saying if I threatened this guy then I would have to accompany then to the station, I told them that if I had been threatening with the bar I would had held it high but I was only carrying it low, it was only when the "intruder" declined to press charges that Mr plod left, and all of this was ON MY OWN LAND, I am told that if I had just physically escorted him from my land that is OK, but I cannot threaten, the law in this country is a bit off to say the least, Rick
Thanks guys. Problem is, the guy threatening doesn't live next door, his mum does. He lives down the road. We don't get on anyway because if this shared drive, and basically from day one, all he has done is being intimidating to get his own way. The shared drive has been an issue for us since they came about, and he's only ever been a dick about it. Acts all pally when he's finished being intense, I can't stand him. We are going to check the deeds, measure up and see if his half Tarmac is ok. Either next time I see him, or next time he taps on the door, I'm going to tell him how it is and record it either on my phone, or get a security camera. I understand about keep the law out of it, but he claims he's spoke to his mate, who's a solicitor, but never ever has he said that he has actually checked the deeds, only that he will do. So it's very unclear. I'm a very easy going chap, and very forgiving and I'll always do anything for anyone, and all he has done is make me feel really bad. I have trouble with my nerves, I'm in propranolol to try and help and I go to therapy groups once a week, and this incident has really upset me.
felixthelogchopper
13-06-2010, 09:40
Sounds like a chancer to me. It's easy to say his mate is a solicitor, anyone can say that. Up the stakes and tell him your mate is a barrister or judge :naughty One thing to bear in mind, if it gets to the court stage then he has no leg to stand on as he doesn't live there, ie he has no interest in the land to allow him to bring a claim in nuisance, which is what he wants to do ( Hunter v Canary Wharf Ltd ). Funny, you would have thought his solicitor mate would have told him that. :thumbs
felixthelogchopper
13-06-2010, 09:47
As for the threatening, that is an offence under Protection from Harassment Act 1997 s2 as he has breached s1 (1&2), can't see any protection under s1 (3) as his course of conduct is not reasonable. He can be prosecuted publically or privately but you will need evidence.
Thanks Felix. Hes a cock no doubt, and its his way of going about things that is upsetting. All he had to do, was say can you not park there for any length of time. id only left the car there an hour, and was going to move it. Part of the issue is they have "seen" me parking it there previously, but my confusion is, hw long did they stand and watch it parked there? because as far as I knew, I have the right of access to my property, and I may well have been loading/unloading stuff from the back, I thought that was ok and didnt require me to ask his permission, which is what he says I havent done.
I cant make up my mind what to do about the threat, and Im not even certain if his threat was to "move your car myself and pull it off the drive" which is something he said, or his threat is to beat me up because hes bigger than me. all i know is i was a bit shocked by his intensenes, his leaning up against my wall/door and threatening me. i felt physically threatened, he was heavy breathing, you know? wound up? and trying to stare me out. thats too much.
i tried to argue that I thought it was a shared drive, and NOT his land, his response was it wasnt shared, i only had right of access over his land. i am reviewing the deeds today. In my argument I apologised if I had misunderstood the deeds, but then told him, because he was going on about his mate, to go back to his solicitor then and clear things up.
he also mentioned the half tarmac thing, can really remember exactly what was said but it lead me to stop him and tell him that we werent being difficult about it, it was him that just went ahead and tarmacced it anyway and wouldnt wait for us. as far as we know, he shouldnt have done it, and now all the water runs off onto the side of our house causing damage, and floods the back garden. ive posted some pics below... Id like to know what we can do, if anything, about what he has done to the drive, so will hopefully get some free legal advise soon...
damage
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w163/clivjoo/CIMG2043.jpg
the spot i was parked, the land he says is HIS
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w163/clivjoo/CIMG2038.jpg
the top of the drive, note the half tarmac job, so tarmac is HIS, concrete is MINE?
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w163/clivjoo/CIMG2036.jpg
Martin60
13-06-2010, 11:24
Thanks guys. Problem is, the guy threatening doesn't live next door, his mum does. He lives down the road. We don't get on anyway because if this shared drive, and basically from day one, all he has done is being intimidating to get his own way. The shared drive has been an issue for us since they came about, and he's only ever been a dick about it. .
Ca'nt honestly see where hes coming from.
If he does not live there whats his problem.
Have you approached his mother, what does she say.
As for the water/drainage problem since the drive being tarmaced, (badly laid and no edging :doh) then you do have rights, especially if his water run off is causing damage to your property.
I had same issue after block paving my drive. Luckily neighbour is understanding. between us we installed some drainage chanels and managed to divert some of run off to the road.
well, at the moment its unclear who owns the house. I thought it was his mum, because when I looked into values of our house, i noted theres was sold to I Bower, Irene, the mother. His problem is, hes a dick, and he has soem sort of social power issue. hes bigger than me, and clearly a bully. all the years I have known him, hes used every intimidating tactic to get his own way.
I agree about the drive. They claim we have been awkward. which makes me angry because thats arrogant. we asked him to wait, we would save up, when he refused, we said then do not do anythign to it, but he did. it floods in heavy rain, draining over where the caravan in parked and into the lawn/pathway, its literally a huge puddle. it also collects at the front and runs back, this puddle is what is causing damage to our property. Now, all we are trying to do is defend ourselves by maintaining a status quo over the drive, but hes totally gone over our heads over everything.
I suppose if it came to it, hes no leg to stand on, he has no proof of what we said about the tarmac drive, but then no proof of what he said, yet the drive is still half tarmacced, so its his word against ours, and i think we will come off better.
Not tried talking to his mum, shes nice enough, pleasent old lady, but shell just tell us to talk to carl, and i dont want to, certianly not on the stret, or at his house, or at mine becaus ei feel physically threatend by him so does my girlfriend.
felixthelogchopper
13-06-2010, 16:47
Try talking to his mum about his negotiating style and explain that you are looking for a solution, not an escalation, but you feel in the face of his aggressive actions that you will have no option but to get the police involved if he continues in the same manner. Reinforce the message that you have never had a problem with her and all you want is to be able to enjoy your property as much as you hope she enjoys hers.Part of your solution is stopping the nuisance of water running off her property and causing the damage to your property which did not exist until the drive was tarmacced. Try to keep it all relaxed and calm, but explain you don't feel able to discuss things with him alone due to his behaviour. If she wishes him to represent her, explain that is ok if she is present as well as a witness to support you. You have to keep your fingers xed that she is more reasonable than him, which will be aided by you making your contact as unthreatening as possible. Hope it all goes well for you. :thumb2
i'll see how it goes, my other half isnt sure about getting her involved, but im going to say something at soem point. already her visitor today has parked across HALF of the drive...HALF? how stupid are they? grow up!
me and my other half have said simply all we can do is watch the drive. if ANYONE parks there, tell them to move and record it. I have had soem advice on another site, and it seems 9as we expected) theres nothing we can do. basically hes been a c**t but has kept within the realms of legality. apparently yes he can tarmac half the drive as he has the right to maintain his half as well as mine, and vice versa. yet I am confused as the deeds state mutual agreement required.
we measured the tarmac, and hes taken MORE than he should have so hes tarmacced onto "out land", which we shall bring up at our next altercation and quite a substantial amount. apparently we cant do anything now, left it too late. from now on though we are going to record as much as we can, so when he comes round here being pissy, we have some reference i will also record any conversations for my own safety.
im fairly satisified theres not much he can do also...i can tell them not to park there, just as much as he can tell me, the only difference is im nicer than him. i certainly dont plan to be helpful any more, which is a real shame.
JimmyJaffa
13-06-2010, 19:14
Was going to say who measured the half Stevie wonder?:doh:doh, Get some lads to take this twat a ride he will never forget, the only thing he will understand.
Was going to say who measured the half Stevie wonder?:doh:doh, Get some lads to take this twat a ride he will never forget, the only thing he will understand.
:clap:clap:clap
well, with his threatening nature karma will do the rounds sure enough. We measured up the drive, hes gone well over with the tarmac, but we are not going to be pissy about it unless he comes back with more trouble.
(RIP) PLANK
13-06-2010, 21:17
well, with his threatening nature karma will do the rounds sure enough. We measured up the drive, hes gone well over with the tarmac, but we are not going to be pissy about it unless he comes back with more trouble.
it's nice to have somthing in reserve :naughty good idea Clivy!
and I would avoid deliberate confrontaion it's no way to go things just tend to get worse, unless of course your bruce-lee-mohamed (i'm hard) ali, and even then you'r probably just get arrested and he could use the whloe drive while you were inside :(
it's nice to have somthing in reserve :naughty good idea Clivy!
and I would avoid deliberate confrontaion it's no way to go things just tend to get worse, unless of course your bruce-lee-mohamed (i'm hard) ali, and even then you'r probably just get arrested and he could use the whloe drive while you were inside :(
oh dont worry, not much chance of that im just a skinny wimp, i prefer to get along with people me, something I think he is a stranger to.
I notice that your caravan is parked in the drive, how come this can fit but not your truck:confused:
the truck was parked next to the caravan, a bit furthur forward, thats the spot hes complaining about. as he hasnt ever complained about the caravan or cars parked in that spot behind the house, theres is jack all he can do now, left it too long. Its a funny setup. we have drive at the front (note black mazda), drive down the middle, shared, and a parking spot at the back in front of a garage (where the caravan is)
BigBlack
13-06-2010, 21:50
Do they have a garage at the rear too? If they do then your deeds will prob say 24 access to garage.... if not then its prob classed as a shared drive? Either way though neither of you have the right to block it.... be it at the entrance or parking on it. Thats said though their is such a thing as being reasonable!!!
Do they have a garage at the rear too? If they do then your deeds will prob say 24 access to garage.... if not then its prob classed as a shared drive? Either way though neither of you have the right to block it.... be it at the entrance or parking on it. Thats said though their is such a thing as being reasonable!!!
no garage at the rear, just a parking space hes got a car parked there. Im in no way blocking him or his mum, never have never will, I only took the liberty because me and his mum have agreed over the years to let visitors park up, that seems to have changed now for some reason. I totally understand the deeds now, and the law surrounding them, but as you say, such a thing as being reaosnable. all he had to do was ask me to move. his problem is, he doesnt liek to ask anything. hes never ASKED us anything, he has only ever TOLD us what he WANTS, and we have been continually agreeable. fat load of good that has done us.
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