tezzer
17-10-2009, 23:17
Tasmanian couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.
Husband says ' Oh for f**k's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'
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My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.
She said she wanted to come back as a pig.
I said, 'You're not f**king listening'
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Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan , told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
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I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.
I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and f**ks off.
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Today an Abbo was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice.
Redfern police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.
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A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque.
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Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos.
She asks what are they made of.
The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair.
The woman said she could not afford that. The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.
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Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.
She turns to the boyfriend and says You did this to me you f**ker'.
He replied casually, If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, F**k off it'll be too painful, Now who's laughing
Husband says ' Oh for f**k's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'
__________________________________
My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.
She said she wanted to come back as a pig.
I said, 'You're not f**king listening'
_____________________________________________
Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan , told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
_______________________________________________
I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.
I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and f**ks off.
__________________________________________________
Today an Abbo was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice.
Redfern police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.
__________________________________________________ _
A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque.
__________________________________________________ __
Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos.
She asks what are they made of.
The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair.
The woman said she could not afford that. The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.
__________________________________________________ ____
Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.
She turns to the boyfriend and says You did this to me you f**ker'.
He replied casually, If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, F**k off it'll be too painful, Now who's laughing