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zippy656
21-04-2009, 12:56
Dear Systems Analyst,


I am desperate for some help!
I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found
that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up
a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.
In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
during systems initialization, where it monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as "Boys' Night Out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run,
and crash the system whenever selected.

Attempting to operate selected "Saturday Rugby
6.3" always fails and "Saturday Shopping 7.1" runs instead. I cannot
seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of
my favorite applications.

I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend7.0", but de-installing doesn't
work on this program.

Can you please help?












... AND THIS WHAT THE ANALYST SAID:

Dear Customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a
basic misunderstanding. Many Customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.
Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to
Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible
to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once it is
installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended
up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and
Solicitors' Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I recommend you keep it installed and
deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems
occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the
C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key.

It may be necessary to run C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME a number of times,
and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, consider buying additional software such as "Flowers 2.0"
and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\UNDERSTANDING 1000.0",
or even "EatingOutWithout The Kids 7.2.1" (if child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or
"OneNight Stand 3.2" (any version), as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and
the system will almost certainly crash.

BEST OF LUCK!

Your Systems Analyst



Dear analyst,
I am having difficulty sourcing the Girlfriend 7.0 program a search of the internet offers Wife 1.0 but only in the thialand version. Please send my any girlfriend programs you have compatable with the Off Roader 1.3 program

Thanks


Dear Customer,

Thank you for your query. While we are unable to answer your exact query we think that we have given you some valuable options. Please read on.

Wife version 1.0 in the Thai edition is a superb model which promises to impress. However if you are looking for Girlfriend version 7.0 I am afraid that we are currently out of stock. As such I can offer you the outdated version of Girlfriend 5.1. I am afraid however that Girlfriend 5.1 has a few issues which had been patched by Girlfriend 5.3, but the patches are no longer supported.

Girlfriend 5.1 had a problem which caused the program to crash and burn whenever the operating system invoked the Headjob 2.3.1 program. Unfortunately this was a common problem which also then followed with the causation of events which created Girlfriend 5.1 off-spawn program Stand-up Argument 4.3 and was usually followed by Face-Slap 1.2 which is not related to the recent editions of Facebook.

We are however happy to offer you a 50% discount on a trial edition of Girlfriend 5.1 or perhaps you might be more interested in waiting for Girlfriend 9 BETA edition which is due out in the Summer of 2009.

We hope that this answers some of your questions.

Yours sincerely

Systems Analyst.



Dear Customer,

I must apologise for not noticing your requirement for Girlfriend program to be compatible with Off Roader 1.3.

I do not believe that any of the earlier versions of Girlfriend are compatible with the said program. However I have spoken with the Systems Coders and they have assured me that they will work on Service Pack 8.4 which should make Girlfriend 9 BETA compatible with Off Roader 2.8. If you are not in possession of Off Roader 2.8 you may find it available as a free SYSTEM UPGRADE from our Downloads section which is directly linked from SUPPORT in the website.

Please be assured that the Systems Coders are working frantically to make Girlfriend 9 BETA the most compatible version of the Girlfriend programs to date.

Yours sincerely,

Systems Analyst



Do all of the patches get writen over when upgrading to wife programs?

That seems to happen to most of the patches. Whilst still in girlfriend mode most patches (and add ons) seem to be able to run, however after upgrading they all seem to be (all of a sudden) incompatable!





Dear Customer,

There is a work-around for the patches being overwritten on upgrade to Wife 1.0.
Unfortunately the work-around requires the installation of Affair 8.2 and once this is installed the Wife 1.0 Operating System is almost left completely in the dark. The running of Affair 8.2 seems to have some sort of Overflow Matrix which causes Wife 1.0 to stop monitoring programs such as Boys' Night Out 2.4.5 and ONLY version 2.4.5 as well as Off-Roading 2.8.2 BETA. The downside to this installation is that you MUST install OFFICE OVERTIME 12.6 Alpha. Once this is installed you can install Affair 8.2, you will find that Affair 8.2 is CO-DEPENDANT on OFFICE OVERTIME 12.6 Alpha being installed.

We wish you luck with your installation.

As always, please contact us if you have any programming issues.

Yours,

Systems Analyst.


I in time may think about getting one in but is there any applications for said prospective girlfriend program beta 9 coming with a white stick add on?
Dazed and confused!
Skywalker



Dear Customer,

I am afraid that the White Stick Add-on is still under development. We have found that it has very nasty side affects with other programs running at the time, as such it is not yet ready for a stable release.

We do apologise for this problem however we can recommend other possible alternatives.

Many thanks,

Systems Analyst.