tezzer
15-01-2009, 21:10
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security
> > office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the
> > counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my
> > age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
> > wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but
> > I would have to go home and come back later.
> >
> > The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I
> > opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,
> > 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
> > me' and she processed my Social Security application.
> >
> > When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
> > experience at the Social Security office.
> >
> > She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
> > You might have gotten disability, too.'
> >
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> > ------------ --------- --------- ---------
> > --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
> >
> > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
> > school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady
> > swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
> >
> > My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> >
> > 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
> > girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we
> > split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't
> > been sober since.'
> >
> > 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would
> > think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
> >
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ------------ --------- --------- ---------
> > --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
> >
> >
> >
> > I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for
> > some reason, took my order first.
> >
> > "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
> > please."
> >
> > He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad
> > cow?""
> >
> > Nah, she can order for herself."
> >
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> > ------------ --------- --------- ---
> >
> > A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom
> > mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her
> > husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I
> > really need you to pay me a compliment.'
> >
> > The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn
> > near perfect.'
> >
> > And then the fight started.....
> >
:naughty
tezzer
> > office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the
> > counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my
> > age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
> > wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but
> > I would have to go home and come back later.
> >
> > The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I
> > opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,
> > 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
> > me' and she processed my Social Security application.
> >
> > When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
> > experience at the Social Security office.
> >
> > She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
> > You might have gotten disability, too.'
> >
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> > ------------ --------- --------- ---------
> > --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
> >
> > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
> > school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady
> > swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
> >
> > My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> >
> > 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
> > girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we
> > split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't
> > been sober since.'
> >
> > 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would
> > think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
> >
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ------------ --------- --------- ---------
> > --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
> >
> >
> >
> > I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for
> > some reason, took my order first.
> >
> > "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
> > please."
> >
> > He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad
> > cow?""
> >
> > Nah, she can order for herself."
> >
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> > ------------ --------- --------- ---
> >
> > A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom
> > mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her
> > husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I
> > really need you to pay me a compliment.'
> >
> > The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn
> > near perfect.'
> >
> > And then the fight started.....
> >
:naughty
tezzer