Lazy-Ferret
15-02-2017, 19:23
The domestic ferret (Mustela putorius furo)
Mustela is a Latin derivation of the term "mus" for mouse. Animals in the Mustela genus include weasels and other “mouse catchers”.
Putorius is from the Latin "putor", which means a stench referring to the musky odor of the ferret.
Furo comes from the Latin "furonem" meaning “thief”.
The word ferret also most likely comes from the Latin furo or the Italian furone with the same meaning of “thief”.
Now, in this house, ours are all neutered, which does away with the Putorius part of their name, and I proved a while ago, when we had a family of Mice happily living on ferret food in the hallway, ours are no good at catching mice either, so they are not worthy of the title Mustela...
So in this house, we just have 14 Furo or “thieves” and last night they ganged up to prove this.
14 ferrets can make getting to bed in this house feel a bit of a chore sometimes, first you have to make their bedtime soup and dish up their raw chicken with the majority of them either sitting between your feet, or climbing up your trouser legs all the time you are making it. While I do that, Suz makes sure all the litter trays are clean, while the ferrets not helping me, try to race her to use each litter tray in the small time between removing the used pad, and before she has managed to get the new pad back in. We then check the food and water bowls, and once our oldest, Megan, has eaten her fill of the food, we put her into her cage, which protects her from the rest of the marauding monsters over night, most of which, do not seem to realise she is an old lady, and will drag her from her bed in the middle of the night to play, which she takes badly and noisily....
Next we make our bedtime drinks, take the various medications we are prescribed which seem to be more and more every year older we get, then head up the stairs avoiding stepping on the ferrets that seem to think "baiting" humans on stairs is a great sport. We then usually with a lot of help, change the litter pads in the upstairs litter trays, and finally get undressed. By this time more of the rouges are upstairs racing round the bedroom, removing the pads from the litter trays, moving the litter trays, opening the sliding wardrobe doors, removing the rugs from the bathroom, or just tunnelling under them, and generally causing mayhem. We then try to get washed with the help of the ferrets who think chasing flannels and towels is the best game ever, even though they do the same thing every night. Some will try and climb up our bare legs, so they get put in the bath, which then turns into a velodrome, with the odd major wreck as one tries to go round the wrong way, before they all pile out of the bath to try and beat us to the bedroom. Once in there, they hijack the bed until they have all had a dribble of ferretone on their bellies, and made sure every drip has been cleaned off not only their own bellies, but all of the others in the vicinity as well.
Finally, one by one, they all disappear, and we can turn down the duvet and climb into bed... Of course, some stay around long enough to play the game of hide and pounce on the moving bed clothes.
Some nights it feels like a marathon, but I must admit we always have a smile on our faces, and drift off to sleep with the gentle snoring of the ferrets worn out from their exertions and full tummies, snoozing in their various places round the bedroom.
So last night, I have just settled down, head on the pillow, and starting to doze, when I can hear a ferret chewing something... for some reason I tune into the sound, and realise they are chewing one of the rubber "chew" balls we got them for Christmas, but it sounds like they are really chewing into it... I then start thinking that it is actually a while since I have checked those, as they tend to stay under the bed, and the last time I saw them was a couple of weeks ago when we found them stashed under our duvet. Ferrets have a design floor, where if they eat anything that does not break down in their intestines, like rubber, it can cause a blockage, and they die. We had one many years ago, and luckily we noticed something was wrong in time, so luckily after a very hefty vet bill, she survived, but it was touch and go.
We have a king sized bed, which is about 8 inches off the ground, and the headboard end is in a recess, so reaching anything under it, in the middle at the headboard end is nearly impossible, and with my pulled shoulder, it's even harder. Being "always prepared", I keep a torch in the bedroom, which is actually quite a nice red aluminium Snapon one. It's about 15" long, and has a narrow beam torch on the end, and a light bar on the side. I get the torch, lay on the floor, and move the under bed storage box out the way, to try and find the culprit. Now, bear in mind, this is the middle of the night, and we all know that is when it is dark, the bed monster likes to lay under there, waiting for your feet to hang out of the bed, allowing him to grab you and drag you off to the underworld, but I am not afraid of the bed monster any more, I have ferrets under my bed, and even the bed monster is no match for them... Now my feet are just grabbed and mauled instead.
So, I lay on my side on the floor, turn the torch on, and realise I am face to face with about 50 ferrets, who are not impressed a human is invading their sleeping and stashing place, which is rather ironic considering the lack of respect they have for our sleeping place, often taking short cuts across the bed in the middle of the night when all 200 are playing chase. I spot the chew balls, but they are out of my reach, even using the torch as an arm extension. I will need to lay at a different angle to try again to reach them, so, I put the torch on the floor, and move, but when I look back, the ferrets have grabbed my torch, and moved it to the middle of the area under the bed, which is impossible to reach.
Now to be honest, I would have given up at this point, and just gone back to bed, but the torch was on, and it has a rubber grip on the handle, and... did I mention, it's a nice Snapon torch.... So I now have to get up from the floor, using my bad shoulder because of the angle I am at, so my sense of humour is now starting to wear a bit thin, especially as Suz is at this point laughing so hard, she is nearly crying.. I go into the spare room, fighting off 400 ferrets that are all trying to get in there with me, to try and find something I can use to reach the torch, I spot and pinch the straight bit of tube from the Hoover and then fight off 600 ferrets all still trying to get in to the room as I come back out. They all know that is one room they are not allowed in, and if they do manage to get in there, there are so many places to hide, I will be up all night trying to get them out.
Armed with my extendable Hoover pole, I get back down on the floor, trying to keep hold of the pole as I can't afford for them to steal this as well, and wriggle back into the right place to reach under the bed. I have to say, trying to manoeuvrer a 4 foot long pole, under a bed, while laying on your stomach, with 800 ferrets all trying to protect their stash, and pinch the pole is quite difficult, but I get my torch back, and then recover the two balls. The problem is, I need to try and get back up with a 4 foot Hoover pole, 2 rubber chew balls, and my trusty Snapon torch, with over 1000 ferrets trying to thwart me, oh and did I mention my pulled shoulder?
Fortunately, the balls were OK, and actually holding up pretty well from the chewing, so at least there is no need to worry about blockages, especially as by now I have no idea which of the 1500 ferrets we have, was the one chewing the ball in the first place.
I go to put the Hoover pole back in the spare room, but look at the 2000 ferrets that have already anticipated my thoughts, all waiting by the door, so opt to stick it in the wardrobe for the night, which luckily was not a move they saw coming.
I then climb back into bed, with adrenalin racing round my veins, trying to decide who was actually victorious in this little quest, while also trying to relax my body enough to fall back asleep, all this with Suz still sniggering and 3000 ferrets all very awake, and ready for a playtime....
Mustela is a Latin derivation of the term "mus" for mouse. Animals in the Mustela genus include weasels and other “mouse catchers”.
Putorius is from the Latin "putor", which means a stench referring to the musky odor of the ferret.
Furo comes from the Latin "furonem" meaning “thief”.
The word ferret also most likely comes from the Latin furo or the Italian furone with the same meaning of “thief”.
Now, in this house, ours are all neutered, which does away with the Putorius part of their name, and I proved a while ago, when we had a family of Mice happily living on ferret food in the hallway, ours are no good at catching mice either, so they are not worthy of the title Mustela...
So in this house, we just have 14 Furo or “thieves” and last night they ganged up to prove this.
14 ferrets can make getting to bed in this house feel a bit of a chore sometimes, first you have to make their bedtime soup and dish up their raw chicken with the majority of them either sitting between your feet, or climbing up your trouser legs all the time you are making it. While I do that, Suz makes sure all the litter trays are clean, while the ferrets not helping me, try to race her to use each litter tray in the small time between removing the used pad, and before she has managed to get the new pad back in. We then check the food and water bowls, and once our oldest, Megan, has eaten her fill of the food, we put her into her cage, which protects her from the rest of the marauding monsters over night, most of which, do not seem to realise she is an old lady, and will drag her from her bed in the middle of the night to play, which she takes badly and noisily....
Next we make our bedtime drinks, take the various medications we are prescribed which seem to be more and more every year older we get, then head up the stairs avoiding stepping on the ferrets that seem to think "baiting" humans on stairs is a great sport. We then usually with a lot of help, change the litter pads in the upstairs litter trays, and finally get undressed. By this time more of the rouges are upstairs racing round the bedroom, removing the pads from the litter trays, moving the litter trays, opening the sliding wardrobe doors, removing the rugs from the bathroom, or just tunnelling under them, and generally causing mayhem. We then try to get washed with the help of the ferrets who think chasing flannels and towels is the best game ever, even though they do the same thing every night. Some will try and climb up our bare legs, so they get put in the bath, which then turns into a velodrome, with the odd major wreck as one tries to go round the wrong way, before they all pile out of the bath to try and beat us to the bedroom. Once in there, they hijack the bed until they have all had a dribble of ferretone on their bellies, and made sure every drip has been cleaned off not only their own bellies, but all of the others in the vicinity as well.
Finally, one by one, they all disappear, and we can turn down the duvet and climb into bed... Of course, some stay around long enough to play the game of hide and pounce on the moving bed clothes.
Some nights it feels like a marathon, but I must admit we always have a smile on our faces, and drift off to sleep with the gentle snoring of the ferrets worn out from their exertions and full tummies, snoozing in their various places round the bedroom.
So last night, I have just settled down, head on the pillow, and starting to doze, when I can hear a ferret chewing something... for some reason I tune into the sound, and realise they are chewing one of the rubber "chew" balls we got them for Christmas, but it sounds like they are really chewing into it... I then start thinking that it is actually a while since I have checked those, as they tend to stay under the bed, and the last time I saw them was a couple of weeks ago when we found them stashed under our duvet. Ferrets have a design floor, where if they eat anything that does not break down in their intestines, like rubber, it can cause a blockage, and they die. We had one many years ago, and luckily we noticed something was wrong in time, so luckily after a very hefty vet bill, she survived, but it was touch and go.
We have a king sized bed, which is about 8 inches off the ground, and the headboard end is in a recess, so reaching anything under it, in the middle at the headboard end is nearly impossible, and with my pulled shoulder, it's even harder. Being "always prepared", I keep a torch in the bedroom, which is actually quite a nice red aluminium Snapon one. It's about 15" long, and has a narrow beam torch on the end, and a light bar on the side. I get the torch, lay on the floor, and move the under bed storage box out the way, to try and find the culprit. Now, bear in mind, this is the middle of the night, and we all know that is when it is dark, the bed monster likes to lay under there, waiting for your feet to hang out of the bed, allowing him to grab you and drag you off to the underworld, but I am not afraid of the bed monster any more, I have ferrets under my bed, and even the bed monster is no match for them... Now my feet are just grabbed and mauled instead.
So, I lay on my side on the floor, turn the torch on, and realise I am face to face with about 50 ferrets, who are not impressed a human is invading their sleeping and stashing place, which is rather ironic considering the lack of respect they have for our sleeping place, often taking short cuts across the bed in the middle of the night when all 200 are playing chase. I spot the chew balls, but they are out of my reach, even using the torch as an arm extension. I will need to lay at a different angle to try again to reach them, so, I put the torch on the floor, and move, but when I look back, the ferrets have grabbed my torch, and moved it to the middle of the area under the bed, which is impossible to reach.
Now to be honest, I would have given up at this point, and just gone back to bed, but the torch was on, and it has a rubber grip on the handle, and... did I mention, it's a nice Snapon torch.... So I now have to get up from the floor, using my bad shoulder because of the angle I am at, so my sense of humour is now starting to wear a bit thin, especially as Suz is at this point laughing so hard, she is nearly crying.. I go into the spare room, fighting off 400 ferrets that are all trying to get in there with me, to try and find something I can use to reach the torch, I spot and pinch the straight bit of tube from the Hoover and then fight off 600 ferrets all still trying to get in to the room as I come back out. They all know that is one room they are not allowed in, and if they do manage to get in there, there are so many places to hide, I will be up all night trying to get them out.
Armed with my extendable Hoover pole, I get back down on the floor, trying to keep hold of the pole as I can't afford for them to steal this as well, and wriggle back into the right place to reach under the bed. I have to say, trying to manoeuvrer a 4 foot long pole, under a bed, while laying on your stomach, with 800 ferrets all trying to protect their stash, and pinch the pole is quite difficult, but I get my torch back, and then recover the two balls. The problem is, I need to try and get back up with a 4 foot Hoover pole, 2 rubber chew balls, and my trusty Snapon torch, with over 1000 ferrets trying to thwart me, oh and did I mention my pulled shoulder?
Fortunately, the balls were OK, and actually holding up pretty well from the chewing, so at least there is no need to worry about blockages, especially as by now I have no idea which of the 1500 ferrets we have, was the one chewing the ball in the first place.
I go to put the Hoover pole back in the spare room, but look at the 2000 ferrets that have already anticipated my thoughts, all waiting by the door, so opt to stick it in the wardrobe for the night, which luckily was not a move they saw coming.
I then climb back into bed, with adrenalin racing round my veins, trying to decide who was actually victorious in this little quest, while also trying to relax my body enough to fall back asleep, all this with Suz still sniggering and 3000 ferrets all very awake, and ready for a playtime....