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R1cho
29-04-2015, 18:58
A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the drivers door.

"Is there a problem, Officer?"

The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"

The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."

"You don't have one?"

The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."

The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that."

The policeman says, "Why not?"

"I stole this car."

The officer says, "Stole it?"

The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."

At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?"

"She's in the boot if you want to see."

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.

The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"

The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?"

"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

"Murdered the owner?"

The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"

The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"

The man says, "Yes" and hands over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."

The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"

Trenches and Tracks
29-04-2015, 19:09
:lol:lol

don simon
29-04-2015, 20:42
:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

solarman216
29-04-2015, 20:43
Like it,Rick

Banshee
30-04-2015, 00:07
Worth the read :lol

macabethiel
30-04-2015, 06:52
LOL

johnb5177
30-04-2015, 10:43
:clap:clap:clap:thumb2

rustic
30-04-2015, 11:22
Morris Minor Joke:
One day a guy with a Morris Minor had a some engine problems on the motorway.
He pulled over onto the hard shoulder and popped open the bonnet and had a peek.
A few minutes later, there was steam everywhere and he was sitting on the curb.

Then another guy with a Porsche 911 Turbo pulled up and asked him his problem.
He told him, and the guy with the Porsche offered him a tug home. He also told the Morris Minor dude that, "If I go too fast, just honk your horn and flash your lights".

Soon after, a Ferrari F50 over takes the Porsche and gives the Porsche driver a hand jesture.
The Porche driver takes offense at this and pulls out to catch the Ferrari, doing speeds in excess of 120 mph.

They pass a speed trap and the officer says into his radio:
"Whoa, you won't believe what I just saw... I'm going to need some backup...
a Ferrari and a Porsche were doing over 120 mph and there was a Morris Minor
behind them honking his horn and flashing his lights, trying to get past."

:lol:lol

R1cho
30-04-2015, 13:25
Morris Minor Joke:
One day a guy with a Morris Minor had a some engine problems on the motorway.
He pulled over onto the hard shoulder and popped open the bonnet and had a peek.
A few minutes later, there was steam everywhere and he was sitting on the curb.

Then another guy with a Porsche 911 Turbo pulled up and asked him his problem.
He told him, and the guy with the Porsche offered him a tug home. He also told the Morris Minor dude that, "If I go too fast, just honk your horn and flash your lights".

Soon after, a Ferrari F50 over takes the Porsche and gives the Porsche driver a hand jesture.
The Porche driver takes offense at this and pulls out to catch the Ferrari, doing speeds in excess of 120 mph.

They pass a speed trap and the officer says into his radio:
"Whoa, you won't believe what I just saw... I'm going to need some backup...
a Ferrari and a Porsche were doing over 120 mph and there was a Morris Minor
behind them honking his horn and flashing his lights, trying to get past."

:lol:lol


:lol:lol:lol

solarman216
30-04-2015, 19:31
Rustic, that reminds me of years ago when riding my 650 Thunderbird (with Bonneville engine) up the A12 with GF on pilion head down and flat out when a bog standard looking MM flew past me, only saw it for a few seconds and it was gone, Rick

rustic
30-04-2015, 20:59
Rustic, that reminds me of years ago when riding my 650 Thunderbird (with Bonneville engine) up the A12 with GF on pilion head down and flat out when a bog standard looking MM flew past me, only saw it for a few seconds and it was gone, Rick

Was there a Porche just in front of it?

:lol

solarman216
30-04-2015, 21:37
Was there a Porche just in front of it?

:lol

Nah, do not think they existed then, this was about 1965 the bike was a 61 and about 4 years old as far as I remember, Rick

rustic
30-04-2015, 22:26
Nah, do not think they existed then, this was about 1965 the bike was a 61 and about 4 years old as far as I remember, Rick

Around the late fifties, early sixties, my dad had a triumph tiger 500.