oh no , not another joke !!!

[briggie]

An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world.

After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she came to the conclusion that the quickest and surest method would be to shoot herself through the heart.

The trouble was, she wasn't certain about exactly where her heart was, so she phoned her doctor and asked him. He told her that her heart was located two inches below her left nipple.

So she shot herself in the left kneecap.

[rustic]

An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems....

'Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot'. So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look. 'Incredible'he says, 'there is a £20 note lodged up here.'

Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a £10 pound note appears. 'This is amazing!' exclaims the Doctor. 'What do you want me to do?'

'Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man! 'shrieks the patient.

... The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and another and another, etc..... Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.
'Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter.

Just out of interest, how moch was in dare den?' The Doctor counts the pile of cash and says £1,990 exactly.'


'Ah, dat'd be roit,' says the Irishman 'I knew I wasn't feeling two grand..'



Rustic