Peaches

[R1cho]

Woman in court charged with stealing a tin of peaches. Judge asks "how many peaches were in the tin?" to which she replies "there were 4."
He tells her that she will serve 1 month for each peach. As she is being lead away her husband shouts from the public gallery . .
"AND SHE STOLE A TIN OF PEAS!"

[supergnome]

The wife left a note on the fridge door this morning. It read "It's not working, I can't take anymore,I'm going to stay with my mother!"
I opened the fridge door,the light came on, and the beer was cold. I don't know what the hell she was on about!