Terranical
04-05-2012, 21:41
Called the NHS HelplIne yesterday about the SwIne Flu,
They were no help, all I got was crackling.
The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
Very nice but I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
Most men have nicknames for their manhood, mine was given to me by a girlfriend whilst giving me a BJ.
She named It the Impaler.... Yes The Impaler...
Or at least that’s what it sounded like, turns out she is an asthmatic, and Its my fault she died.
I’ve just been to my first Muslim birthday party...
The musical chairs were a bit slow, but pass the parcel was bloody quick.
3 students doing a psychiatry lesson.
The 1st was asked. What’s the opposite of joy ?
She said sorrow.
The 2nd was asked what’s the opposite of depression ?
He said happiness.
Then Paddy was asked, what’s the opposite of woe ?
He replied Giddy up !
A wise man once said, '' You should treat your woman like a Hoover!!!
When it stops sucking,............................... Change the bag!
Apparently global warming will eventually kill over 6 million Asians and Africans,
On a far more serious note,
My bloody snowman’s melted!
And The last
2 women knocked on my door and asked what kind of bread I ate,
I said white they stood there lecturing me for over half an hour .........
Bloody Hovis witnesses.
They were no help, all I got was crackling.
The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
Very nice but I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
Most men have nicknames for their manhood, mine was given to me by a girlfriend whilst giving me a BJ.
She named It the Impaler.... Yes The Impaler...
Or at least that’s what it sounded like, turns out she is an asthmatic, and Its my fault she died.
I’ve just been to my first Muslim birthday party...
The musical chairs were a bit slow, but pass the parcel was bloody quick.
3 students doing a psychiatry lesson.
The 1st was asked. What’s the opposite of joy ?
She said sorrow.
The 2nd was asked what’s the opposite of depression ?
He said happiness.
Then Paddy was asked, what’s the opposite of woe ?
He replied Giddy up !
A wise man once said, '' You should treat your woman like a Hoover!!!
When it stops sucking,............................... Change the bag!
Apparently global warming will eventually kill over 6 million Asians and Africans,
On a far more serious note,
My bloody snowman’s melted!
And The last
2 women knocked on my door and asked what kind of bread I ate,
I said white they stood there lecturing me for over half an hour .........
Bloody Hovis witnesses.